Monthly Archives: October 2013

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halloween 2013


Zach was a scientist from some video game that he plays. Chloe’s my cute Native American Princess. ;)

It was a wet night. Rained all day long and didn’t let up for trick-or-treating, so we were all soaked by the time we got home. We started out at the trunk-or-treat that a local church sets up on the corner each year. Fueled up with some hot dogs there and some candy from the trunks. Then we walked up and down the street. It was fun to have Chloe’s best friend, Mackenzie, along tonight. The girls are constantly giggling and you just can’t help but smile at them. So carefree and young. Sigh.


I love that the city has been blocking off the entire street for the past couple years. So nice not to have to worry about cars whizzing by as you cross the street with your kids in the dark. And it’s great to be able to spread out a bit and walk on the road. Those sidewalks used to get very crowded. Plus, I can stand in the middle of the street and take pictures. The leaves are so pretty right now.


After a fun (drizzly) time, we headed home to watch Monster House, which has become our annual tradition ever since that movie came out. The kids dug into their candy a bit. Had to stop Chloe or she would have made herself sick.

Now I think I’ll pop on Facebook and see all the fun pictures of kids in their costumes from tonight! :)

looking forward


photo taken October 2009

Looking forward to …

Celebrating in Chloe’s class tomorrow and the annual parade through the school.
Trick-or-treating with the kids. Even if it’s pouring rain. (pictures to come, of course!)
Visiting with friends the next couple weekends for pictures and catching up.
Attending Chloe’s first gymnastics meet later this month. She got her team leotard this week. So cute!
Celebrating Christmas early with my Dad’s side of the family.
Vacationing in Florida with Heather, Jeff and the girls.

I’ve got to dwell on the fun stuff and just keep moving forward. There is much to be thankful for.

pray me through


Alone with my thoughts a lot these past few days. A sad kind of fog hangs over me. I keep writing (well, typing) in my journal like crazy trying to get all my feelings out. I wake up in the middle of the night and lay there, desperately needing sleep. And it’s more than David’s death, although you can’t help but think about your life when one so young passes away. But when you have deep wounds that you thought were healed and suddenly the bandage is yanked off and the bleeding starts again, you have to deal with it. Even after twenty years. I didn’t expect to feel like this after the funeral, but it is what it is. I thought I would go and pay my respects, a quick hug or two, and that would be that. I wasn’t prepared for his crying, for the words that were exchanged, or for the emotions that would push their way up from where they’ve been buried all these years. It was much harder than I thought it was going to be.

I share this here on my blog because I know I’m not the only one out there whose been through heartbreak or loss. This is my place to share my story, the happy and the sad, past and present. It helps me to get it all out and know that you guys will pray me through it. I need those prayers.

I am extremely blessed that God brought Jake into my life when He did. He is the one who got me through when I was completely broken and he loved me so much even before I knew I loved him, too. So thankful for my husband. We have a good life together, the life God planned for me.

I shared this on facebook the other day, but I wanted to end with a quote by Lysa TerKeurst:
“I trust You, Lord. I trust Your plan. I trust Your goodness. I trust what You can see and I can’t. I trust You with it all, Lord.”

Thanks guys! I know things have been serious around here and I promise the blog will lighten up a bit. Keep praying for me. And please keep praying for the Gibson family as they grieve for Dave.

monday’s list


Collin + Zach w/their winning robot. Snow! Mom’s car packed full of balloons for the funeral on Friday.

• Such an emotional weekend. Blogged my thoughts on the funeral HERE. Very difficult, not just mourning the loss of one who died too young, but also seeing my ex and wanting to be there for him more than I really could or should. Mixed emotions and old wounds there.

• Thankful for an understanding and loving husband, who held me when I cried and was just there for me, taking care of me.

• And for such caring kids. When Zach came into our room the next morning and saw my puffy eyes, he gave me a nice hug. Soon after, Chloe came in and said Zach told her I needed another hug. So sweet.

• Have been fighting a cough since last week and it finally got the better of me. On Saturday, I woke with a coughing fit, sore throat and fever and spent most of the day on the couch. Had to cancel photos with my dear friend Lindsey on Sunday, too. I was not a happy camper. Sickness, go away!

• Jake’s van has been dying a slow death for many months now, so I had to drive him to work for the past week. But we found a nice used Honda Accord for him, so very soon that will be ours and I won’t have to play chauffeur anymore (well, only for the kids!).

• Went to the middle school to watch Zach’s class have their Battlebots Competition last Thursday. Too fun. Zach and his partner Collin’s robot totally won the whole thing. I was so proud!

• The kids are all ready for Halloween. Chloe has a countdown going. She’s more excited than usual because her best friend Mackenzie will be joining us for trick-or-treating and spending the night. Now, if the rain will just hold off.

• Did I mention that it snowed last week? What? That can stay away right now!

• Can’t believe it’s the final week of October already. My self-imposed book deadline is November 1st. I have not worked on it at all the past week. Too many other things to think about. So it might be well into November before I finish this edit. Jake is still reading it and is going to help me with it and I will be sending it off to some family and friends, too, for extra input and advice. I will keep giving updates now and then until it’s ready!

• The past ten days seemed endless. On to a fresh new week!

crying it out

The funeral was yesterday and the service was lovely, but so difficult to get through. Honestly, I held it together all day. I carried my Kleenex and wiped my eyes when the tears stung and I never really let them fall.

I wouldn’t let myself lose it. Because if I started crying, really crying, I knew I wouldn’t stop.

There are many reasons why I put up my emotional wall yesterday. My family and close friends will understand why. I think a part of me didn’t feel like I had the right to grieve with the family, because I never really officially became a part of it. But they’ve always felt like family to me, long before there was ever an engagement, and I felt this very strong pull all day to just be with them and hold them and let them know I love them. And there were plenty of hugs and loving words exchanged, but I held my emotions very close so I wouldn’t completely fall apart.

So when I got home, I cried. I really cried. For the Gibson family. For Barry. And for David, who I will always think of as a brother.

He will be missed. And one day, we will all see him again in Heaven. Praise God for that!

After a long day of funeral service, lunch, graveside service and another meal at the church, we all gathered outside and launched balloons in David’s memory. It was a nice way to end this very long, emotional day.

throwback thursday


Halloween 2007. Zach (7) and Chloe (4). My little Mario and Luigi. Another costume made by my Mom.

monday’s list (on tuesday)


• So happy to have Jake home. It was a long week without him while he was in Nashville. I can’t really put my finger on why, but I really missed him this time. More than on other trips he’s taken. As the years pass, I realize more and more how blessed I am to have him.

• School projects for the kids last weekend. Jake helped Chloe. I helped Zach. It was a team effort. Chloe’s class brought gourds home and they had to turn them into something else. Chloe decided to make hers into an alien with bbq skewers, foam for “hair”, a marble for the eyeball, and even the arms of an old broken Ken doll. She painted the whole thing green with purple hair. Zach is learning about the Revolutionary War and had to write a letter to his fictional cousin explaining why the Declaration of Independence and breaking off from England was a good thing. He did a nice job. We printed it on parchment paper and crinkled it up to look like it was aged. Fun projects!

• Teacher conferences this week! The kids seem to be doing well. Even Chloe, who was struggling with her Math, has started to improve a bit there (when she slows down and double checks her work!). I absolutely adore Chloe’s teacher. Zach had her for his fifth grade year and we just loved her, so we were thankful that Chloe got her this year!

• The weather has turned cold and it’s time to dig out the winter clothing and buy the kids some winter coats. It’s like we jumped from a nice warm fall into winter very suddenly. The leaves on the trees changed really quickly and are falling already. We finally cranked the furnace up. Brrrr! The forecast says chance of snow Wednesday to Friday. Not ready for this!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!
I just have to end today’s post by thanking all of you for your prayers yesterday. My blog doesn’t get a ton of traffic and that’s not my goal in writing it, but I do get a daily email letting me know how many people visited my page. Yesterday, after sharing a link to my “prayers needed” post on facebook, so many of you clicked right through to see what you could pray for and that means the world to me. The funeral is Friday and that will be a very hard day for this family. Please continue to pray for them in the coming days and weeks. You guys are the best!

prayers needed


I received some very sad news on Friday. A family very dear to me since my teenage years is grieving the loss of their son.
I was once engaged to his younger brother and, though that didn’t work out, their family will always hold a very special
place in my heart. And that little place in my heart is so broken for them.

If you could do me a huge favor and pray for this family, I know they could use all the prayer they can get right now.

Thank you so much.

this week

• Jake has been in Nashville for work, so it’s been a very long week of counting down the days until he gets home. We missed him! But he arrives on a plane this afternoon.
• Got to chat online with one of my best friends the other night. So good to catch up and hear what exciting things are happening in her life.
• It’s been rainy for a couple days now and is expected to rain for another week. Makes me want to curl up in my cozy bed and stay there for a while.
• Spent some time this week getting kids clothes ready to list on eBay. The idea of purging some of the clutter we have in this house makes me very happy.
• Took a leap. Gulp! We’ll see if anything comes of it. Hint:


I totally blame Anya for this!

Happy that it’s Friday and I get to see my hubby in a few hours! Have a great weekend!

throwback thursday


Halloween 2009. Zach was 9. This was by far Zach’s best Halloween costume – Link from The Legend of Zelda. My Mom MADE this costume! And Jake made the shield and the sheath for the sword. It turned out so awesome. The photo on the right is my favorite. He posed like the picture of Link in a book he had. Such a cutie pie.

AJAXed with AWP